When will I be enough?
Thoughts + Updates + Fun fact
Dear Friend,
It came again, that unease (some call it impostor syndrome) that burns in the recess of my mind. I got 5 rejections in one day and someone I designed a book cover for, tricked me out of a balance. Yup 😂
What am I doing with this my life sef? Others are bagging awards and getting MFA scholarships. But, I was here getting mauled.
Maybe, it's because I am *not enough*.
But, what is enough and how do I reach it, I asked myself. I couldn't place my hand on a meaning. Then, I remembered when I was studying for my Child Care certification I had told myself, adding this qualification to my Education degree would make my life better. I felt good then for a minute and it was back to nothing.
A man maybe? Husband? What about all the other half baked things I ended because time was not right, faith was not aligned, and the future looked blur?
Nothing would truly make me feel enough, even when I affirm that I am. Frankly, no human is.
Wait, could it be that this feeling is a metaphor for the troubled sea? And we (me and you), the disciples of Christ in the boat with the Saviour on it (panicking of course)
Could it be? Think on it
And then, you'll see that you'll would never be enough? Not because you are broken or, stupid but, because you were never made to be enough. You were created for motion, journey, progress. Call it process if you may. That nagging feeling is your spirit saying “you have stayed too long on this mountain, move it!”
It is not a bad feeling.
Maybe, you need a hug with this realization but, I hope you get. I hope you stop trying to make yourself feel enough and just embrace it friend. Your un-enoughness. I hope you look on the litany of attempts in your life and smile.
Your un-enough friend,
Abasiama Udom
Update
ARC for Before, Coup, After went out yesterday 🎉🎉
Cover reveal is tomorrow the 18th of June. If you can, help this author create awareness for this project.
There are images and a video available here.
Fun Fact: Meet the Axolotl.
Did you know the Axolotl can regenerate its limbs and parts of its brain and heart without scarring? The creature is unafraid of change and uncertainty.
I found this out by accident and thought to share.
Do reply this letter, I am always reading.
Share with a friend too and let's build a strong blooming corner 🌹
You are doing plenty, Abasiama.
You are enough. You'll get through all this.
Just keep being you